Rhino Revolution

Are you familiar with the mysterious Easter Island Heads that are planted around that island?  There are many theories as to their origin and purpose including one by Erich von Daniken who, in his 1968 book “Chariots of the Gods”, advanced the idea that the technology to carve and transport the huge monoliths was given to the Island’s people by alien space travelers.  Fun reading, but the mystery is probably closer to being solved by comparing past events to today’s political climate.

About 1,000 years ago, just like today, there were conservatives (rhinos) and liberals (cows).  They were called the Short Ears and the Long Ears.  The liberals on the Island were the Long Ears.  They started with a small piercing in their ear lobes and gradually stretched the skin until the ears hung down to the bottom of their face.  I don’t know why they did it.  Why do people mutilate themselves today with tongue and nipple piercings, body tattoos and who knows what else?  I find that these people tend to be liberal.

If you polled a group of tattooed, pierced people of today, the majority of them would be for abortion, government controlled schools, evolution, moratoriums on oil drilling, Obama health care and eating vegetarian.  It is so predictable, it is laughable.  Here they are trying to be so different, so out there, so mysterious, and yet they can be figured out like a cheap bike lock.

It was no different when the liberal Long Ears came up with their progressive idea to carve hundreds of  long-earred heads and transport and set them up all over the Island.  The trouble was that they had to be hand-carved right out of the ground, they weighed up to 85 tons, measured over 30 feet high, and had to be dragged as far as 3 miles.

The Long Ears decided that the Short Ears should do the work even though the Short Ears wanted no part of it.  “It’s for the good of our Island”, the Long Ears determined and put the Short Ears to work.

There are thousands of projects going on today that are as “worthy” as the Easter Island Heads were.  All it takes is some Long Ear Liberal of today to dream up some social engineering project, pronounce it important, and you and I are conscripted by taxing our income to pay for it.  Carl Sagan and his crowd decided that we needed to search space to find alien travelers.  Billions of our dollars have been spent in this fruitless, ridiculous quest.  Now comes the concept of man-made global warming which we need to pay for.

While the Long Ears were putting the Short Ears to work, a similar situation was going on in another part of the world.  The Pre-Columbian Aztecs believed that their god, Quetzalcoatl, demanded blood sacrifice to keep the sun shining.  The liberals there routinely held captives bound while they ripped out their beating hearts.  Some captives were skinned alive and the liberals dressed themselves in the flayed skins.  When a really big need was determined, like global cooling, the captives were lined up for miles as thousands of people were sliced open and their hearts were place on the altar to satisfy the Aztec’s god.

Back on Easter Island, the Short Ears eventually revolted.  Evidence on Easter Island shows that production of the Heads came to a sudden stop.  Hand tools were found scattered next to half-finished figures.  Some  Heads were found on the ground as they were being dragged to their final destination.  The revolution had begun.

When I had my Creation/Fossil store, I overheard an evolutionist say to another, “Whoever opened this store should be taken out into the alley and shot.”  Long Ears are not tolerant of opposing viewpoints.  Liberals are not looking for an exchange of ideas.  They want to control your actions, your thoughts, your emotions, your money and your future.  They want your life.

The Short Ears fled to the North side of the Island and dug a 10 foot ditch one mile long, shore to shore.  They filled it with wood and set a fire going to protect themselves from the advancing Long Ears.

The story goes that there was a certain Short Ear who married a Long Ear girl.  During the thick of the battle, she led the attacking Long Ears around the edge of the fire trench with the help of the traiterous Short Ear husband.  The Short Ears were all forced into their own fire pit and burned alive.  The Long Ears were victorious, but the stone heads were never carved again because liberals are talkers and not doers.  Just like today’s politicians, they will not put any of their own money into their grand ideas, but will gladly take it out of the skin of everybody else.

Fighting amongst themselves, the Long Ears eventually did themselves in.  With nobody to do the work, the Island was reduced to hidden caves where everyone hid out. Now open to foreign invaders, whaling ships from conquering countries came by and forced the remaining island population to collect bat guano in Peru.  By 1800, the once populous island was reduced to 200 people.

The Short Ear who married the Long Ear girl and destroyed his own party reminds me of our governor Arnold Shwarzenegger and his liberal wife, Maria Shriver.  When Shwarzenegger was voted in to replace Gray Davis, I thought there was a chance for California.  He came in swinging and shooting and looked like our economic savior, but now he is pushing us all into the fire with his global warming craziness.  He got his Terminator ass kicked by the Unions, the leftists, the career politicians, and I am sure that Maria did her part too.  Is this Island, California, going to self-destruct like Easter Island did?  Will we be collecting bat droppings in Peru?  Time for a Rhino Revolution.  Keep charging!!          Scott Alexander

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander