Rhino Revolution

Do you remember your first car?  I always had a VW bug while growing up.  Actually, I still have a VW.  Guess I am not finished growing up.  That’s the beauty and magic of a VDub.  You have to have a childlike innocence to ride around in what my son lovingly refers to as a “deathtrap”.

Old VW bugs are like street-legal go-karts.  They shimmy at high speed (50 mph), cough and sputter while getting up to shimmy speed, and will quit for any number of mysterious reasons.  Valves must be adjusted, points must be filed, prayers must be said.

In high school, I took the engine out of my expired bug and rebuilt it with the help of a book that every bug owner is familiar with…”How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive” by John Muir.  First published in 1969, this book holds as many memories as my wedding album(s).  We didn’t have the internet back in the mid 70’s to run to for instant answers.  We learned by doing and making some terrible mistakes.

Driving a VW took guts.  We didn’t have cell phones to call for help when we broke down.  We didn’t have water bottles to drink from while thumbing through the repair manual trying to replace a clutch cable.  If we were thirsty, we drank from people’s yard hoses.  Every bug owner learned how to brake with their toes on the pedal and their heel on the gas because a bug that idled was a curiosity.

Creativity ran rampant when you drove a bug.  If you wanted to arrive somewhere, you had to be prepared to open the back hood and try to fix whatever was destined to happen.   As a kid, did you ever run a string from your bed to the light switch?  I had to do a similar trick when my gas pedal cable broke.  I ran a string out the window, routed it along the side of the car into the engine compartment where I had rigged it to pull the gas valve on the carburetor.

Ah, memories.  Fires in the glove compartment, heaters that never worked, and getting really good at push starting.  I think that vintage bugs are so popular because people have the memories.  They have the stories of the situations that they found themselves in and managed to be victorious over.  In short, driving a bug was an adventure. Every bug owner has his or her stories.   Overcoming adversity is one of the great thrills of life.  Not when it is actually happening and you are on the side of the road out in the boonies at 1 a.m. with a bug that just quit, mind you, but later when you reflect on how you kept your cool and handled the dilemma.

If you don’t have a VW, don’t worry.  There are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to overcome adversity.  No matter how rich or poor you are, there are going to be things that don’t work out, things that go wrong, pistons that seize.  The trick is to have the right attitude that you are having a grand adventure.

When you find yourself in a fix, don’t panic.  Savor the experience.  You will overcome.  You might even write a book about it.  There will be someone in a similar situation in the future that you will be able to help.  Make life an adventure by understanding that it starts with the right thinking.  You don’t need to spend a lot of money on an ocean cruise or take up sky diving or go to another country.  What are you doing tomorrow?  Make it an adventure!       Scott Alexander

An adventure waiting to happen.

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

A few years ago, I decided to learn how to ride a unicycle and found that learning to ride one has a lot in common with principles of success.  The first interesting unicycle analogy to succeeding in life is how many people, seeing me ride the unicycle, said that they had always wanted to learn to ride one.

Just another wild fantasy… another reckless dream.  One more notch in the belt of mediocrity.  They never got into the type of work that they really wanted to do.  Life just didn’t go the way that they wanted it to.

Of course, people wouldn’t express it in these exact words, but as a writer I have quite an imagination.  And I’ve got a book to write.  I need material!  If I can get a couple paragraphs out of  “I always wanted to learn to ride a unicycle”, I will run with it.

Regret is found in epidemic proportions.  “I always wanted to learn to play the piano…  I always wanted to be a doctor… I always wanted to learn to fly an airplane…  I always wanted to start my own business…”

I wonder how many times I have heard people tell me about the book that they have always wanted to write.  What happened?  Was there a paper shortage?  No, what they really meant was that they always thought about writing a book.  It’s fun to think about doing stuff because you can do it watching TV while lying in bed.

The second analogy I observed is that both success and unicycling can be extremely frustrating, especially in the beginning stages.  Learning to ride the unicycle for me was a slow, sometimes painful, experience.  It would have been very easy to quit.  Just getting up on the seat while holding on to a wall and trying to stay upright was difficult.  That’s why very few people can ride a unicycle – it’s just too much trouble.  That’s also why mediocrity is such a popular condition – success is just too much trouble.

As a motivational author, I want you to have fabulous success, but I am not going to kid you.  It is frustrating, difficult and some days it seems as though you are going backwards rather than forward.  The people who can deal with and persist through the frustrating times end up being the winners.

Your attitude can help you to keep charging.  The attitude to maintain is that you are on an adventure; an Indiana Jones, stuck in the quicksand, watch out for poisonous snakes type of adventure.  Adventure, adventure, adventure!!  Have it tattooed  on your arm if that is what it will take to remind yourself of the fun you are having!

If you don’t like adventure, then you might as well throw the towel in right now.  There is no use torturing yourself.  Be an observer instead.  Watch other people do it.  Get a huge, big screen TV and live your life vicariously through others.  Hey, we need spectators!  We have lots of seats to fill.  Get yourself a ticket, sit your big butt down and watch others live their adventures while you wait contentedly for your burial.

The audience of life far outnumbers the players.  The seating in the auditorium is much larger than the stage.  The bleachers can hold thousands, but there can only be a dozen or so on the team.

People don’t need motivation – they need goals.  That’s why the motivation industry is a scam.  How the heck would I know what you want in life?  If you had some goals, you wouldn’t be wasting time looking for an easy answer in books.  An adventure has to have a purpose, even if it is never achieved.  In fact, it is inconsequential whether the goal is ever reached or not.  Whether it is discovering the source of a raging river, climbing to the top of a mountain, or finding evidence of Bigfoot, you have to have the attitude that you are on an adventurous mission.

If you feel unmotivated, it just means that there is nothing in life that you currently want.  Do you see my dilemma as a motivational author?  I can suggest setting goals, but if there is nothing you want, goal setting is a task in itself.  If you have to sit and agonize over what you think you want, it is not going to be a strong enough desire to move you off the couch.

However, one day it might come to the surface.  Who knows what will cause the spark, but I don’t believe it will come from willing yourself to be motivated.  Sorry.  Either you’ve got it or you don’t.  That is my philosophy of motivation.  It does eliminate a lot of the marketplace for me, but it comes down to my own reason for doing what I do.  I do not enjoy being brought in to corporations to motivate people who I feel could best be served by telling them to quit their jobs.  My mission is to spend my time with people who are already motivated and celebrate the condition with them.  Whew!   I finally got a chapter out of learning to ride that unicycle.  Make your life an adventure!     Scott Alexander

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

I am starting to accumulate some friends on Facebook and there are two things I check when someone requests me as a friend.  First, if the new friend is a female, is she single?  Being single myself, I am naturally interested  in any eligible female that enters my Facebook world.  They always seem to live on the other side of the country.  The second thing I check out is whether they describe themselves as liberal or conservative.  I would say that 90% of my current friends are conservative and there are a few liberals that are probably just barely hanging on, ready to delete me the next time I knock Barack.  Facebook is about collecting friends for a lot of people, but I imagine that my Facebook posts might be irritating enough to a liberal to drop me and look for another person that has joined “Let’s find 1.000.00 people who support same sex marriage”.

One guy set up a Rhino Fan Club Facebook page late one night after reading “Rhinoceros Success”.   Before going to bed, he posted a link to my blog.  He apparently didn’t spend enough time researching my material and was blasted the next morning by his liberal friends for posting such “garbage”.  “Dang Republican Scum” he apologized and promptly removed the link.

He called me “Dang Republican Scum” but still has me on his friends list.  I didn’t delete him either.   I am sure that he is a nice guy.  His list of friends look like nice people.  He lists The Beatles as one of his favorite bands.  He has got to be a decent guy!!

But I am scum…because I want limited government.  I want freedom.  I don’t want to impose any of my beliefs on anybody and I certainly do not want to have anybody else’s beliefs imposed on me.  I don’t care if my liberal friends smoke marijuana.  Why do they get all bent out of shape if I don’t want to recycle my trash?

I have no ill will toward gays.  Being an antique mall shopper and one who uses the word “patina”, I have been mistaken for being gay.  I don’t tell my new single girl Facebook friends  that story though.  If you are gay and want to get married, go to a state that allows it.  Surprisingly, California is not ready for it yet.  There was a vote, you lost.  Try again later.  Geez, when Obama was elected President, us scum didn’t throw tantrums and run to the streets protesting.  We were disappointed, but we lost.  We will try again.  Oh God, I hope it is not McCain…

I don’t care if you love or hate God.  I’m only concerned about myself at this point, having been through two marriages and wondering why anyone, gay or not, would even want to get married.   I don’t care if you believe in evolution or creation, but please quit trying to cram your humanist religion down my throat.  Nobody has to go to church, but we are forced to send our kids to public schools where they are indoctrinated in liberal theology.  I believe that Jesus died for my sins.  When was the last time you heard a public school teacher teach that?  It is illegal!!

If you believe in global warming, do what you think you need to do to make it better.  Just don’t force me to participate, because I don’t believe in it.  I am what Jerry Brown calls a “Neanderthal” and am proud of it.   I won’t make you put a Christian fish sticker on your bumper if you don’t make me buy expensive light bulbs.  You can worship the devil for all I care, but please do not try to  make me aspire to buy a Prius.  Whatever happened to “Live and Let Live”?

Limited government.  That is all I want.  Liberals don’t want that because it is only with a powerful, large, omnipresent government that they can impose their beliefs on others.  If you don’t have liberal beliefs, a big government can fix that.   An oppressive government can take away our guns, make all religions other than the State Religion illegal, restrict our movements, control how much money we make, determine how many children we will be allowed to have, regulate every aspect of our lives, and rule who we are allowed to like or dislike.  Most of the world lives in bondage to their governments.  The United States has been the only country in the history of the world that let people live their lives as they saw fit and liberals seem OK with it disappearing or “transforming” as Obama would say.

Does my liberal Facebook buddy really want to do that to me?  To himself?  To his friends?  He looks like a nice guy and he likes The Beatles.  I will keep him as my friend.  I hope that he keeps me too.  Peace, love and understanding…. and keep charging!!!     Scott Alexander

Peace, love, understanding and freedom!

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

How are you doing financially?  Never let anyone tell you that money is not all that important.  Money is important.  Money is essential.  Without money, every other facet of your life is likely to suffer.

Money has a bad reputation because most people don’t understand how capitalism works.  To justify their lack, you will hear them say that “money is the root of all evil” or “money can’t buy happiness”.   These ideas are used only for rationalizing failure to have money.

Money is not the root of all evil; love of money is.  You can enjoy the benefits of money, but it does make a poor savior.  You don’t want to let money become your God and I found a way to avoid that  -  Make collecting money your hobby!  Doesn’t that sound like a fun hobby?

Making money beats collecting stamps or old bottles any day.  Get good at this hobby and you are liable to become wealthy.  But make it your hobby and not your job.  Wouldn’t you rather spend time on your hobby every day than go to work?  Hobbies are fun, entertaining and stimulating.  Making money is a hobby that you will want to get up early in the morning to get started on.  You might not even sleep well because you are so excited about getting up.  Remember Christmas Eve when you were a kid?  That is how you should feel every day.  It is better than having diarrhea on Sunday nights because you have to start another week at a job you hate.

Making money is a hobby that will complement any other hobbies you have beautifully.  If you enjoy making money and flying, there could be a turbo-charged Bonanza in your future;  making money and collecting stamps and there could be an around- the- world cruise to the countries you collect;  making money and skiing could lead you to one day owning your own ski resort.  There is no hobby more exciting than making money.  Start your collection today!

And money can definitely buy happiness!  That is why money is so valuable.  What else would you want to buy with it – unhappiness?  No matter how much or how little money you have, it can always buy happiness;  whether it is paying cash for your twelve room beach house in Hawaii or paying last month’s rent on your apartment to keep from being evicted.  If money can’t buy happiness, why is everyone trying to get some?  Poverty cannot buy happiness.  Stay away from that.

Always remember that this is only a hobby.  Don’t let it become your master.  Never be afraid of losing everything you have made.  Do not fall in love with money to the point where it becomes a burden.  If you worry about losing it, having it stolen, or worry about spending it, it has become a millstone around your neck.  At that point, money has become your God and will not buy happiness.

Wake up in the morning as a damn-the-torpedoes, thick-skinned rhinoceros and enjoy your new hobby of making money as you make the world a better place.  Keep charging!!!   Scott Alexander

If you enjoy collecting money and skiing, you could own your own ski resort!

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

How can there be an economic recovery when our President does not believe in it?  Last year, at his Arizona State University commencement speech, he denounced getting ahead financially.

Obama said, “You’re taught to chase after all the usual brass rings; you try to be on this “who’s who” list or that top 100 list; you chase after the big money and you figure out how big your  corner office is; you worry about whether you have a fancy enough title or a fancy enough car. That’s the message that’s sent each and every day, or has been in our culture for far too long — that through material possessions, through a ruthless competition pursued only on your own behalf — that’s how you will measure success.”

Now, according to King Obama, success is working for a non-profit company.  He refers to his brief stint in the private sector as “working behind enemy lines”.  This guy is not a good cheerleader for success, for America and definitely not for freedom.   His wife, Michelle, says that she spent her entire adult life ashamed of America, until we saw the Obama light.

Unfortunately, he has slithered into being our President and has vowed to “fundamentally transform” our country.  Success in Obamunism is stealing from the rich and giving it to the poor.  Penalize achievement and reward laziness.   I don’t like to give Satan too much credit for anything, but I think he had a big hand in getting this guy elected.  God has a plan and has allowed it.

In the meantime, it is hard to get motivated about building a business in a country where the Rulers have now decided that we are the enemy.  Private sector jobs continue to be lost while the government grows bigger and more coercive.  Anyone who desires to get ahead financially is perceived of as “greedy”.  Taxes continue to soar as the Obama administration spends like no other time in our history.

When the coach thinks that winning is wrong, how do you think the team is going to perform?  If a parent encourages a passive lifestyle, how do the kids turn out?  If a pastor does not inspire his congregation, why go to church?  If the rules of the game are constantly changing to make it impossible to win, why play the game?  When the President of the United States wants to turn our country into a third world socialist cow pasture, why get up in the morning?  For the first time in my adult life, I am ashamed of America.

Economic recovery will come in three years when this Bozo is voted out.  When we get a coach that believes in winning and achievement, the stimulus will begin.  Until then, keep the hope that we can change back to a nation of greatness.  Keep charging, keep believing in yourself, love God, be positive, inspire greatness!  Scott Alexander

A new day is coming and the sun will shine again.

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

Setting goals is highly overrated.  Anyone who is into motivation has probably attended an all day seminar where a big part of the day was devoted to identifying your goals.  Motivational speakers love to set the attendees off to think about their goals and dreams because it adds an hour or so to their presentation while everyone is busy thinking about what they want, building dream boards as they cut pictures out of magazines like The Robb Report.  The speaker can keep them busy for a little longer setting goals in different areas of their lives – Financial, Work, Spiritual, Family, Physical, etc.  Then all the goals need to be rated according to their importance.  What a bloody waste of time.

If you have to be prodded into wondering what you want, you don’t really want anything bad enough to get it.

There are various levels of “wanting it”.  The first level might be similar to the guy laying on the couch watching TV.  There might be a show that he wants to switch to, but the remote is nowhere in sight, so that’s that.   This is a pretty low level of desire.

A much higher level of “wanting it” would be equivalent to the hard-core coffee drinkers who have to have their coffee in the morning.  On a recent trip to Las Vegas, I left my room in the morning to grab a cup of coffee at the Starbuck’s next to the lobby.  Holy Caffeine!  You should have seen the line!!!  Now we are getting closer to the real secret of success – what will you put up with to get what you want?

My addiction is ChapStick.  I must have it with me at all times.  If I find that I have forgotten to put my ChapStick in my pocket, I will go to great lengths to immediately get a fresh tube.  My greatest fear is going to prison and being denied having ChapStick in my cell.  What objectionable behavior would I engage in to get ChapStick?  I don’t want to think about it!!

Your goals have to carry at least as much weight as a coffee drinker for coffee.  You have to be addicted to success.  You don’t need to peruse a magazine for motivation.  You know what you want.  It is on your mind all the time.  You crave it!!  If you have to jump through hoops to get it, get the hoops out and you jump!  You will get it … no matter what.

The ultimate level of desire that guarantees success would be akin to the parent’s commitment to a child.  You have heard the stories of a mother who lifted a car to save a trapped baby, or the parent who runs into a burning house to save a loved one.  You would fight a grizzly bear if it meant protecting someone that you dearly loved.  The stories are legion of people who have performed supernatural feats in situations that demanded it.

Is your goal that strong?  Then, you will get it.

If your motivation level is comparable to the guy who won’t change the station because he doesn’t want to get up off the couch, don’t expect to see any changes.  It is not necessarily a bad thing.  At least you don’t have to wait in any long lines, jump through any hoops, perform any unnatural sex acts, fight grizzly bears, etc.   When you want it, you will get up off the couch.  Have fun, make life an adventure and keep charging!!!   Scott Alexander

If I ever go to prison, I hope they let me have my ChapStick!

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

Are you familiar with the mysterious Easter Island Heads that are planted around that island?  There are many theories as to their origin and purpose including one by Erich von Daniken who, in his 1968 book “Chariots of the Gods”, advanced the idea that the technology to carve and transport the huge monoliths was given to the Island’s people by alien space travelers.  Fun reading, but the mystery is probably closer to being solved by comparing past events to today’s political climate.

About 1,000 years ago, just like today, there were conservatives (rhinos) and liberals (cows).  They were called the Short Ears and the Long Ears.  The liberals on the Island were the Long Ears.  They started with a small piercing in their ear lobes and gradually stretched the skin until the ears hung down to the bottom of their face.  I don’t know why they did it.  Why do people mutilate themselves today with tongue and nipple piercings, body tattoos and who knows what else?  I find that these people tend to be liberal.

If you polled a group of tattooed, pierced people of today, the majority of them would be for abortion, government controlled schools, evolution, moratoriums on oil drilling, Obama health care and eating vegetarian.  It is so predictable, it is laughable.  Here they are trying to be so different, so out there, so mysterious, and yet they can be figured out like a cheap bike lock.

It was no different when the liberal Long Ears came up with their progressive idea to carve hundreds of  long-earred heads and transport and set them up all over the Island.  The trouble was that they had to be hand-carved right out of the ground, they weighed up to 85 tons, measured over 30 feet high, and had to be dragged as far as 3 miles.

The Long Ears decided that the Short Ears should do the work even though the Short Ears wanted no part of it.  “It’s for the good of our Island”, the Long Ears determined and put the Short Ears to work.

There are thousands of projects going on today that are as “worthy” as the Easter Island Heads were.  All it takes is some Long Ear Liberal of today to dream up some social engineering project, pronounce it important, and you and I are conscripted by taxing our income to pay for it.  Carl Sagan and his crowd decided that we needed to search space to find alien travelers.  Billions of our dollars have been spent in this fruitless, ridiculous quest.  Now comes the concept of man-made global warming which we need to pay for.

While the Long Ears were putting the Short Ears to work, a similar situation was going on in another part of the world.  The Pre-Columbian Aztecs believed that their god, Quetzalcoatl, demanded blood sacrifice to keep the sun shining.  The liberals there routinely held captives bound while they ripped out their beating hearts.  Some captives were skinned alive and the liberals dressed themselves in the flayed skins.  When a really big need was determined, like global cooling, the captives were lined up for miles as thousands of people were sliced open and their hearts were place on the altar to satisfy the Aztec’s god.

Back on Easter Island, the Short Ears eventually revolted.  Evidence on Easter Island shows that production of the Heads came to a sudden stop.  Hand tools were found scattered next to half-finished figures.  Some  Heads were found on the ground as they were being dragged to their final destination.  The revolution had begun.

When I had my Creation/Fossil store, I overheard an evolutionist say to another, “Whoever opened this store should be taken out into the alley and shot.”  Long Ears are not tolerant of opposing viewpoints.  Liberals are not looking for an exchange of ideas.  They want to control your actions, your thoughts, your emotions, your money and your future.  They want your life.

The Short Ears fled to the North side of the Island and dug a 10 foot ditch one mile long, shore to shore.  They filled it with wood and set a fire going to protect themselves from the advancing Long Ears.

The story goes that there was a certain Short Ear who married a Long Ear girl.  During the thick of the battle, she led the attacking Long Ears around the edge of the fire trench with the help of the traiterous Short Ear husband.  The Short Ears were all forced into their own fire pit and burned alive.  The Long Ears were victorious, but the stone heads were never carved again because liberals are talkers and not doers.  Just like today’s politicians, they will not put any of their own money into their grand ideas, but will gladly take it out of the skin of everybody else.

Fighting amongst themselves, the Long Ears eventually did themselves in.  With nobody to do the work, the Island was reduced to hidden caves where everyone hid out. Now open to foreign invaders, whaling ships from conquering countries came by and forced the remaining island population to collect bat guano in Peru.  By 1800, the once populous island was reduced to 200 people.

The Short Ear who married the Long Ear girl and destroyed his own party reminds me of our governor Arnold Shwarzenegger and his liberal wife, Maria Shriver.  When Shwarzenegger was voted in to replace Gray Davis, I thought there was a chance for California.  He came in swinging and shooting and looked like our economic savior, but now he is pushing us all into the fire with his global warming craziness.  He got his Terminator ass kicked by the Unions, the leftists, the career politicians, and I am sure that Maria did her part too.  Is this Island, California, going to self-destruct like Easter Island did?  Will we be collecting bat droppings in Peru?  Time for a Rhino Revolution.  Keep charging!!          Scott Alexander

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

A big part of defining your goals, of knowing where you want to go is knowing where you do not want to go.  How do you know where you don’t want to go?  You have to go there!   One of my biggest misadventures was getting into the business of retailing reptiles.  Now I can say that I’ve been there, done that and get on with my life.

Most of the lizards and snakes in the store either died or escaped.  The ones that sold either died or escaped.   I got bit, pooped on and scratched.  Of course, not all of the customers were that mean.  The reptiles got me broken toes, thrown in jail (another blog post), and just broke.  Probably the snake that broke the camel’s back of my dream-turned-nightmare of a chain of reptile stores was Rita.

Rita was a twelve foot Reticulated Python from Asia.  These pythons are beautiful but have a reputation for being nasty and unpredictable.  Being one of the longest snakes in the world ( over 30 feet) and having a bad temper is an unfortunate combination.   Selling them requires vast amounts of lying, or finding just the right tattooed, doped-up Satan worshiper.  Well, one came into the store and I lied to him.

Just kidding.  Actually, this guy was a tough road worker who had no fear of being bitten by snakes.  In fact, he told me that he caught snakes out in the wild by letting them bite his hand and then grabbing them behind the head with his other hand.

OK.  I had qualified the prospect.  Now go in for the close!  I told him that I had been bitten by Rita twice, she had hundreds of razor sharp teeth, she would definitely try to bite and kill him and he could have her for $100.   Sold!   One hour later, he’s back with his money and a big cage to transport the huge snake to his appreciative family.

The store manager, Forrest, and I were ecstatic that we had finally sold this monster.  Every time that it had to be fed or have its cage cleaned, we would get knots in our stomach.  And the longer we had it, the bigger and meaner it was getting.

All of our anxiety would soon be over.  As we unbolted the four padlocks holding the top of her cage down, Rita got that “I want to eat you” look in her eyes.  Knowing that she would strike at the first movement, I told our new snake owner again, “She will try to bite you!”

This guy thrust his hand in the cage, grabbed her behind the head and then started to pull her out.  I helped by lifting the lower half of her out while repeating the mantra, “She is gonna bite you… she is gonna bite you…”

Then he let go of her head and she bit him.  But she didn’t bite him out of anger or fear.  She just wanted to eat him!  Rita had gotten her jaws right over his fist and then started to wrap her 60 pounds of slithering muscle around this guy as she pulled him to the floor.

Oh, just another day in the reptile business.  My job as salesperson was to keep Rita from wrapping her body around the now slightly agitated  customer’s neck.  Constrictors, like Rita, feed by first seizing the prey (already accomplished), then squeezing until the prey stops breathing (which we were trying to prevent).  Then they release the prey, locate the head and proceed to swallow it whole.  That’s when buyer’s remorse would have set in.

I was determined not to lose this customer.  Forrest closed the door to the room we were in as some people get squeemish when the snakes are fed.  Blood was pouring out of Rita’s mouth where her inventory of teeth had embedded in the now disgruntled customer’s hand.  He kept his cool though.   After a little rubbing alcohol on her gums she let her prey loose and we got her back in the cage.

I sensed that I had lost the sale and my well-honed instincts were right.  He changed his mind.  After wrapping up his bloodied hand, he apologized for the blood stain on the carpet.  He said that it wouldn’t be a good snake for his kids to play with.

After a few more adventures in the reptile business, I rethought my goal of having a chain of reptile stores.  Where is Rita today?  Well, this story has become part of my talk that I give to motivate others to have their own adventures and when I come speak to your organization, I will show you what happened to Rita.  Have fun charging out in the jungle!!  Scott Alexander

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

Creation is another way in which God revealed Himself to mankind.  “The heavens are telling of the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.”  Many people think that evolution is supported by science, but it is really the other way around.  Rather than sitting like a protozoan with the I.Q. of bean dip and accepting what you are force fed in school and in the media, do a little research on your own.

Understand that there are different theories of evolution.  Two important points to note are that it is all theory, not fact, and they can’t agree on which theory they want to run with.  In fact, to fully comprehend how asinine the idea of evolution is, read a book on it.  There is just not much there.

Basically, all the theories run along a few premises, one of which is that evolution has occurred over tremendously long periods of time.  That is a cop out!  Because evolutionists cannot prove anything today, they alway refer to the “primeval past.”

The truth is that long periods of time would only be a deterrent to evolution, because of a scientific principle called entropy. Entropy is the tendency from the highly organized downward toward the less organized.

Gosh, I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble, but as you become older you tend to look older.  After about 90 years, you are going to look like… well, you are are going to look like you’ve been around for 90 years.   900,000,000 more years will certainly not help your situation!

Another foundation of evolution is the belief that mutations caused the changes that resulted in the transition of one life form into another until – PRESTO! – here we are!  This is really stretching it, don’t you think?  Talk about strong belief!  Anyone who believes in evolution has to have far more faith than any Bible believing Christian.  All a Christian has to believe is that God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh day.  That makes sense to me.  I would have wanted to rest on the seventh day too.

Imagine a faith in which you believed that the sun (Wait!  How did the sun get here?) managed to hit a speck of slime at the right angle, and it transformed the slime into an amoeba.  The amoeba promptly became a salamander, since it decided that having four legs would be cool.

Then the salamander had a mutation, which caused its kids to be born with eyelashes.  They didn’t have eyes yet, but the eyelashes looked cool too.  After three billion years, a pupil developed,  but since the optic nerve had not arrived yet, the eyelash and the pupil had to wait another billion years.  Not cool.   Finally, the eye all came together and the salamander could see that the future was in flying.  He evolved a nice set of wings, grew a sharp beak, took flying lessons and turned into an eagle.

His brother and sister salamanders had different ideas.  Some evolved into elephants, some into chickens, some into people, and some were happy just being salamanders.  And that explains why today there are still salamanders, and amoeba, and simple one-celled organisms … they just have no ambition!

You can believe that mutations are responsible for evolution, but pray that your kids are never born with one.   T. Dobzhansky, in his book, “Genetics and the Origin of Species” states, “A majority of mutations, both those arising in laboratories and those stored in natural populations, produce deteriorations of the viability, hereditary diseases and monstrosities.  Such changes, it would seem, can hardly serve as evolutionary building blocks”

The more you learn about the fossil record, DNA and mutations, the more your belief in the Bible will be strengthened.  Don’t wear yourself out arguing with eggheads.  Evolution is a man-made religion that teaches that life is just an accident and  that there is no purpose to your life.

Life does have purpose and meaning, and life can be filled with happiness … if you reject the wide gate.  Evolution has been widely taught and accepted because it rationalizes being miserable.   Don’t wait for time to make you better.  Go after your dreams right now!   Don’t become a fossil waiting for conditions to be perfect.  Right now is the time!   Are you going to monkey around forever, or are you going to accomplish something?   What are you waiting for … a mutation?  Charge!!!

EVOLUTION OF THE COW

Copyright 2010 by Scott Alexander

What separates the doers and the achievers from the losers and discouraged oftentimes seems to be a difference in attitudes towards problems.  Success in any endeavor boils down to who is going to keep going despite the difficulties.  How do you develop the persistence to keep going when you get knocked down?  How do you maintain a determination that keeps you strong when it seems that the path you have chosen is impenetrable?

I am going to tell you a little trick of mine that helps me deal with problems.   I pretend that I am “the expert from afar“.

An example:  My stack of bills is over one foot high, I have no money and it is beginning to knock the wind out of my sails.  Shut-off notices start to come in, getting the mail takes on a certain dread and relatives know to use the “one ring – hang up – call again” routine if they want me to answer the phone.

In steps “the expert from afar” (it’s really me).  This is the guy whose expertise takes him to financially troubled companies around the world.  He is famous for his ability to sort things out and help companies get back on their feet.  He has been on countless TV talk shows.  The Wall Street Journal and other business periodicals make constant references to him.

Now he is here in my office sorting through my bills.  He arranges them in order of importance, calls creditors and arranges payment schedules, and keeps my credit good by paying the important bills first.  He is very professional and can work with a cool detachment through the whole sticky ordeal because he is “the expert from afar”.

The better your imagination, the better you can get at this!   Another quick example:  I am working on my motorcycle and in trying to remove a bolt from the sidecase,  I strip away the slot and the screwdriver can’t get a grip.  Very frustrating.  In disgust,  I give up on the project.

Ten minutes later,  I am back as “the expert from afar”. This time I am the famous heart surgeon who has been flown in to remove this young person’s cancerous growth.  Many doctors have already attempted this surgery, but all have failed.

With a thoughtful calmness, I analyze the cancerous growth and plan my attack.   Then, while being filmed for a CBS Special, I cut a new groove in the bolt head with a dremel tool.  I can hear the hushed whispers of the doctors observing me and taking notes.  I spray a special WD40 antiseptic around the troubled area.  Finally, with the skill that only I have, I gently tap the bolt while applying a constant counter-clockwise pressure with the screwdriver.

Suddenly the cancerous area breaks loose!  The bolt comes out.  Thunderous applause breaks out around me and I can hear cries of joy from close relatives of the motorcycle… I mean young person.

It might be a good idea to keep this technique to yourself.  My ex-wife knew that I used it effectively and took advantage of me at times.  “Hey Scott,  the toilet is plugged up.  I think we need the expert from afar for this job!!”

Waiting for the "Expert from Afar".

Copyright 2009 by Scott Alexander